For my nieces' shower, I decided to read something from scripture. I looked in a booklet called, "Together For Life", by Joseph M. Champlin. It was given to Monkey Toes and I during our wedding preparation from our priest at that time. It contains scripture specifically for weddings, along with an explanation as to what the readings mean. Monkey and I spent many hours deciding the scriptures that would be shared during our Wedding Liturgy. We both liked what we called the 'good ol' tried and true' readings (The Creation Story, Husbands love your wives - wives be obedient to your husbands, Love is patient and kind - etc.), but we wanted something different - something that really spoke to us and represented our relationship. The readings we chose had the themes of Covenant (Jeremiah 31:31-32), Reconciliation (Colossians 3:12-17), and Life (Matthew 7:21-29). As I was reviewing these scriptures once again, I was really struck by the reading from the letter of Paul to the Colossians. It talks about the importance of forgiving one another, just as Christ has forgiven us. In the reflection it says, "In true reconciliation, the healing goes beyond the hurt, the reconciling is more joyous than the suffering was painful. Couples then reach a deeper degree of acceptance, love, and understanding." Wow! Those are powerful and inspiring words that still move me when I read them.
This was the scripture I decided to share at the shower. As so many people seemed quipped with marriage advice, I can only think that this is one of the most important lessons of all. To me, marriage isn't about keeping score (50/50), just as life isn't really like that. I believe it is recognizing and reverencing the dignity of each other. When I fail to do that, I hurt the ones I love the most. Learning to forgive and asking for forgiveness is ongoing. Once we learn how to do those things, the rest seems to fall into place.