I had so many thoughts today that I wanted to record, but they were all trumped by my frustration earlier this evening. Honey Bunches and I had a really "off" night. In my anger I yelled at him - excessively - and it has taken the wind out of me. I felt as though I was having an out-of-body experience, the whole time thinking I should give myself a Time Out. When it was all said and done, I felt terrible. I gave myself a few minutes to calm down and then at supper, I apologized to all of the children, saying that I should not have acted the way I did. I then apologized to Honey Bunches. He told me he forgave me and then apologized for what he did as well. It was a very humbling moment for me.
As I sit here tonight, I feel like today I failed as a mom, especially when I place my troubles in perspective to those who have real struggles and challenges. I love my kids with all of my heart and want to do right by them. I don't ever want them to doubt the love I have for them. Whenever I struggle with being a wife and mother, I ask my Blessed Mother to pray for me. I know she understands my frustrations and intercedes for me daily. It comforts me to know that I am not alone in my experiences. Tomorrow is a new day and a chance at a fresh start. I am thankful and grateful for new beginnings.
Don't be so hard on yourself! Have a full blown melt down once in a while, it's good for you!
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