Happy Birthday Gummi Bear!

Today my oldest girl turned 6 years old.  As I approached her bed this morning to wake her up, she sat straight up and declared, "I am 6 today mom!"  She had a smile on her face the entire morning.  As I sat and looked at her today, I could hardly believe how quickly time has passed.  As with all of our children on their birthdays, I talked about the day she was born and what made her birth unique.  But let me start with how we learned we were having Baby #3.

My sister had been diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer in August of 2004.  As a precautionary measure, my other sister and I were told to get tested.  At my appointment, they did a blood test and then had me go to radiology for an abdominal ultrasound.  It was here that the technician found a tiny beating heart.  I was stunned.  My sister was in for the fight of her life, and yet Monkey Toes and I would now be in preparation for welcoming a new life.  As I drove home from the hospital that day, the scripture passage from Jeremiah 1:5 entered into my thoughts.  "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you."  I didn't know I was pregnant and I didn't feel or look pregnant, and yet I had a brand new life within me that my Creator had loved into being.  I was overwhelmed with emotion.

I was a little nervous expecting my third child in less than 3 years.  I questioned my capabilities of juggling such a life.  Monkey Toes was amazing.  He never doubted this path for our lives - at least he never vocalized as much to me.  The next months were a sea of ups and downs.  As I watched my sister suffering and battling through chemo treatments, I was also anticipating the birth of my baby.  On May 16, 2005, I went into labor in the morning.  I'm sorry to say that I don't remember many details of the day.  I do remember sitting on the birthing ball as much as I could.  I remember T - a friend from church who was a nurse at the hospital, coming in and rubbing my back and holding my hand through contractions.  I remember breaking down because there was a time when we believed that our baby had possibly swallowed meconium and I feared the consequence.

What I clearly remember was when my doctor announced that she could see the head.  I asked, "does my baby have hair?"  She laughed and said, "you have no idea."  I remember the doctor announcing that it was a girl.  I was amazed and a little in shock - I thought for sure I was having another boy.  I remember the nurses taking her from me to complete her measurements and Gummi sharply screaming and the nurse saying, "Oh boy does she have an attitude already."  I also remember my sister coming in and taking Gummi into her arms and rocking her and then saying, "I'm sorry but she doesn't look like a Gummi Bear to me." 

Gummi Bear was such a good baby.  I actually would call her Gracie, because the transition of going from two to three children was easier than I had anticipated.  She was content and hardly fussed.  But when she did fuss, she had a piercing scream that would make anyone wince.  On June 11, 2005, Gummi Bear was baptized.  We asked my sister and her husband to be the Godparents.  My sister hugged me that day and shared with me that she didn't believe she would be here celebrating with us.  It was a beautiful day in which we celebrated new life.

Now, six years later, Gummi is a beautiful girl who loves life.  She enjoys school, playing sports, tea parties, and crafting,   And her Godmother (my sister) is cancer free.  Gummi will always be a reminder to me of the beauty of the circle of life.  Gummi - I love you.  I want nothing more than for you to find true happiness in this life.  May you continue to know God's blessings in your life and to always keep a gracious and humble heart.  You are my Sunshine!  Happy Birthday.