Life's Lessons

This week has provided us with a very full and busy schedule.  Honey Bunches, Gummi, Cucumber and Sweet Pea had swimming lessons in the morning.  We would return home for lunch, afternoon routine (reading and rest time) and then Sweet Potato and Honey Bunches attended Football Camp in the evenings. This camp resulted in very late suppers and late bedtimes.  Through it all, the kids and I have fared pretty well.

There have been a few exceptions.

While the Love Bugs were eating lunch yesterday, I went to get the mail.  There was a notice from our local library charging us for un-returned DVDs.  They were two weeks overdue and if not returned, our cost for replacing these movies would be $79.56 plus overdue fees, which were totaling $30 plus $2 each additional day this matter remained unresolved.

The first thing we did was tear apart our house trying to locate the DVDs to no avail.

FRUSTRATION ensued.

After a round-about blame game, it was revealed that Honey Bunches and Sweet Pea were responsible for returning the movies.  Neither one could explain what exactly happened to them.  Here's where the story gets tricky.

I made it very clear that Monkey Toes and I would NOT be paying the fee.  That would be the sole responsibility of the stated parties.  Each of the Love Bugs has money in a savings account, however these accounts are in a bank that is 45 miles away.  Our library is only opened a few hours each day, which limits our flexibility in resolving the matter.  My choice was to either leave immediately for the long distance bank, or wait until Monday.  The thought of racking up more "fees" did not appeal to me, so I loaded up the kids and away we went.

The trip was not a happy-go-lucky outing.  I lectured the Love Bugs about responsibility and thinking of others and how their actions affect those around them.  I'm sure they tuned me out after awhile.  We arrived to the bank and Honey Bunches and Sweet Pea approached the teller and politely asked to withdraw the necessary amounts.  The teller asked, "do you kids need the money 'cause you're going on vacation?"  The kids looked at me and I simply explained, "they have something to pay off."  After the transactions were complete, the teller leaned over the counter with a basket of suckers.  Each child took one, except for Honey Bunches.  He averted his eyes and said, "No thank you.  I don't believe I deserve one."

It was 3:00 PM when we returned home; just as the library was opening for the day.  Honey Bunches, Sweet Pea and I walked up to the counter.  I explained to the librarian that we could not locate the DVDs and that the kids had the money to pay the fee.  She told us to "hold on a minute."  When she returned, she had the movies in her hand.  They not only had been returned, but also returned on-time.  There were no fees to be paid.  She couldn't explain why we received the notices, but she did apologize for any inconvenience caused (oh - if she only knew!).

Here is the two-fold lesson learned.  1)  People make mistakes - even moms and dads (and libraries) - and sometimes they're pretty big mistakes.  No matter who we are, it is important to recognize them, sincerely apologize and seek forgiveness, and hopefully move on.  2)  Monkey and I are serious about holding our kids accountable and we will follow through on consequences, even if that means driving 90 miles round trip to do so.

Life lessons continued today as it was the boys last day of football camp.  The kid who is use to finishing behind his brother finished first and the son who is use to finishing first finished last.  We had an up-close and personal lesson on being gracious winners and gracious losers.  Yes, I do believe that it is o.k. to have winners and losers.  Call me Old School.  For the boy who usually finishes first, this was a tough one to swallow.  Amongst the tears there was muttering of "it's not fair", etc. etc.

This muttering brought me back to my high school economics class, where the teacher use to say, "Life is not fair.  'Fair' was never stamped on your birth certificate.  Get over it."  A very wise lesson which was relevant 20some years ago and remains relevant still today.  Yet another life lesson learned.