Eternal Rest Grant Unto Her O Lord. . .

Yesterday I attended the funeral of my sister's Mother-in-law and long time family friend.  It was one of the most beautiful and touching celebrations of life I have ever attended.  I haven't stopped thinking about it all day.

My kids called her Grandma Rita.  She was often present at family gatherings, hosted by my sister.  I considered her a kindred spirit of sorts.  She literally had twice as many children as me, and understood my journey of motherhood like no other.  We often traded stories of other peoples reactions with a chuckle. Grandma Rita died last Tuesday at the age of 83.

I feel a bit out of place sharing too many details of Rita's life, seeing as I'm not family.  However, there were parts of the Liturgy that deeply moved me, and that's what I hope to impart. 

As the procession into the church began, so did my tears.  Rita was the mother of 12 children, Grandmother to 33 and Great Grandma to 22.  She was a sibling and aunt.  The shear number of family present was testament to the legacy she leaves. 

After her husband died, Rita made a quilt.  This project helped her find peace and healing in a time of great sorrow.  This same quilt was used as the pall on her casket.  As Father shared yesterday, each stitch was sewn out of love, accompanied by countless prayers for her children and family.

During the homily, Father took a spool of thread and had one of Rita's grandchildren hold the end.  He then unraveled the spool, encircling the entire family present in the pews with this thread.  He explained that sewing and quilting were two of Rita's passions in life and brought her such joy.  Let this thread symbolize the love and faith that Rita shared with each of them, binding them all together.

Two of Rita's sons sang He Walks With Me, as two of her granddaughters played their flutes.  Another granddaughter gave the eulogy; a letter she wrote to Grandma Rita, thanking her for all of the life lessons she taught.  Unexpectedly, another one of her sons got up and shared some memories of his mom.  He expressed how she always let the kids be exactly who they were and loved them as they are.

Yesterday was a beautiful, warm, sunny, and slightly breezy day.  The church was filled with flowers.  I kept thinking that we could not have had a more perfect day as we said our farewells to such a lovely woman.  Through life, and even in death, Grandma Rita continues to inspire me and challenge me to want to do better and be better.  "Give her eternal rest O Lord.  May light unending shine on her.  Receive her soul, O holy ones; present her now to God, Most High."  

Time For A New Tradition

Our neighboring community hosts its annual Corn Carnival each August.  It is a popular gathering of not only the locals, but of folks from afar.  It is a sort of reunion for those who have moved from the area, but continue to return for the festivities.  As a child, it was the meeting place of classmates whom we may not have seen all summer, but would catch up before school began in a few weeks.  The Corn Carnival is a tradition for many and something that is looked forward to throughout the year.

Our family tradition with the carnival is to attend the parade on Monday and then return on Tuesday for rides and good eats.  We've operated this way for a few years and it has worked well, at least until this year.  As planned, we attended the parade on Monday evening.  The weather was beautiful.  The kids sat in their chairs along the parade route in great anticipation.  As is becoming the norm, this parade didn't throw out candy to the spectators.  I had pre-warned my children that they would not be getting candy.  Part way through the parade, Cucumber leaned forward and began to heckle the parade units.  She bellered, "Where's the candy?  I want some candy!  Why aren't you giving us candy?"  I was shocked, and a bit horrified.  I had to grab her by the shoulders and explain how this behavior is not appropriate. 

After the parade, we walked down to the carnival.  The kids mapped out their ride schedule for the following evening and then we shared in some brownie sundaes from our church stand.  Upon our return home, it was discovered that we had some schedule conflicts for Tuesday.  It was decided that Grandma and I would take the Love Bugs to the carnival in the afternoon.  Each child received enough tickets for 3 rides.  We began by all watching Sweet Pea and Pumpkin ride Rock Town.

Then the 4 oldest decided to start with the Tilt-A-Whirl.  (Just a side note - Monkey Toes and I cannot do spinning rides.  We never could and never will.)  So the kids all got into one cart and began to whirl.  After the 3rd trip around, I heard Sweet Potato yell, "he's gonna puke!"  Thankfully, the attendant heard this and stopped the ride, much to the other riders dismay.  He told everyone to calm down; that he just needed to let someone off.  It was Honey Bunches that wasn't looking very well.  He actually had a little green tint to his face.  He and Sweet Potato got off, but the girls decided to continue to ride.  Although Honey Bunches never puked, he did begin to cry because he felt as if he had wasted a ticket on a ride he didn't enjoy.  I kept telling him he had two more tickets, but as he looked around the carnival, there were few option left for him.  From there, the 4 oldest wanted to try King Tut's Maze.  It is made up of mirrors.  After a short while, I heard Cucumber scream and start to wail.  The attendant had to walk in and "rescue" her.  The poor child sobbed and sobbed, even after we had left the carnival.  She continued to declare that, "I do not like that thing one bit!"  While trying to calm both Honey Bunches and Cucumber down, Gummi Bear used her last ticket on The Dizzy Dragon (fortunately she did not inherit mine or Monkey Toes inner ear) and the little ones chose The Bouncy Castle.  At this point, everyone but Gummi had one ticket left.  Cucumber settled on The Swings and the little ones and the boys chose The Giant Slide.  I had to climb the steps with Pumpkin and Sweet Pea to make sure they sat in their gunny sacks correctly.  Of course, once at the top, they both clung to my leg, refusing to go down by themselves.  Also, Honey Bunches chose not to go down.  His tummy was still not doing so well.  The first trip down I had Pumpkin on my lap.  Then I had to climb up those steps one more time for Sweet Pea.  At the end of the second trip, both little girls wanted to ride again, however, we were out of tickets (Honey Bunches gave his left over ticket to a friend).   Tantrums then ensued.

Grandma felt bad for Honey Bunches, so she offered to give him money to play a game of his choice.  He played a game and won a prize, which pleased him greatly.  At this point, the little ones are still throwing tantrums.  Also, it has begun to rain.  I now have a 3 and 4 year old sitting on the ground (because they refuse to stand up) and screaming, a 5 year old who decided to cry again because the memory of the Maze has traumatized her, and 3 older ones who are complaining that they don't like getting wet.  I firmly announced that we were finished and heading home.  The little ones screamed louder, the 5 year old cried harder, because we had to pass by the Maze to get to our van, and the older ones just took off running to get out of the rain.

We returned home wet and grumpy.  Naps were mandatory for EVERYONE, including me.  After some thought, I announced to the family later that evening what will be happening as we attend future Corn Carnivals.  We will continue to attend the parade, followed by whatever treats our church stand is selling.  We will omit rides and instead, spend our money on BINGO.  It's only .25 a card and we can play all night (if we factor in the amount of money spent on rides and substitute that on BINGO, each child could play 20 games!)  Surprisingly, the kids thought this was a great idea.  Thus, a new family tradition has been established.  Oh, and cheese curds.  Next year I want cheese curds!

FYI

In surfing the net, I came upon this blog (here) which provides writing prompts to help one reflect on the beauty of simplicity in everyday life.   I thought I would give it a go.

FOR TODAY

Outside my window...It is cool outside and misting.  It's beginning to feel a bit like fall.

I am thinking...Monkey  Toes has a business trip this week and I pray that all goes well.

I am thankful...for my currently sleeping Love Bugs.  I love when we're all together, under the same roof.

In the kitchen...A pork roast in the crock pot.

I am wearing...Must I confess?  O.K.  My gray hooded sweatshirt and sweatpants.  Shocking, I know!

I am creating...back-to-school lists.  I love being able to cross off items.  It feels as if we're making progress.

I am going...to get two of the girls hair cuts tomorrow.  They want short hair.  I'm saddened they want to loose their long locks.

I am wondering...if Cucumber will maintain her boisterous ways once she's in school, and if not, how many phone calls I will have to field in regards to this.

I am reading...A Simple Path, by Blessed Mother Theresa.

I am hoping...that Sweet Pea and Pumpkin will bounce back to their joy filled life once the older kids are back in school.  I think they may be a bit over stimulated by the amount of activity in our home, caused by their older siblings.

I am looking forward to...a visit from a dear friend later this week.

I am learning...that each year school supply lists grow in both length and costs.  What is a protractor again?

Around the house...we have been donating, tossing, and recycling lots of items.  Again, it feels like we may be conquering the clutter.  At least for the time being.

I am pondering...what I should make for dinner when my friend arrives.  I want something delicious (of course), and easy to prepare.

A favorite quote for today...came from Cucumber while we were playing BINGO.  "Why does this card hate me?"

One of my favorite things...the rosy cheeks and smell of my kids hair after bath time.

The Past Few Days

Here's what we have been up to over the last few days.

We attended our County Fair and very successfully avoided the carnival section.  We actually spent the afternoon there because Honey Bunches wanted to enter the Lego's Creations Contest.  He built the Titanic and iceberg.  Although he didn't place, we were all very proud of him!

The kids were fascinated with all of the animals, particularly the baby chicks and ducks, the horses and the floppy-eared rabbits (I know there is a more correct name for them, just can't seem to remember it at the moment).  Oh yes, and they loved the milkshakes.  

The last couple of days, we have been cleaning.  Our church is having a rummage sale this weekend and I made it a priority in our home to clean up and clean out!

Doesn't everyone mop in their very best attire?

And finally, beware of doing something that Simon didn't say. . . . . . .

because you will get wet!

My Big Date Night

Last night was mine and Monkey Toes date.  During the day, Cucumber kept saying that she needed to make us a "date" card.  She never did sit down to do that, as our niece picked the kids up early to take them to our County Fair.

Our big night out began with Mass.  Monkey took me to the church where I was baptized and received my First Communion.  I've only been back there a few times since I was a child, and this was Monkey's first visit.  When I was young, this church always looked so big to me (probably what I would consider a Cathedral).  However, as an adult, it is much smaller than I remember.  It is beautiful - very ornate.  My favorite was, and still is, the paintings on the ceiling and the Stations of the Cross that hang on the walls.  As much as I love going to church with my family, there really  is something beautiful about attending with just my spouse. 

We then headed to TGIFridays for dinner.  My sister wrinkled her nose at me when I told her where we were going.  She asked why Monkey wasn't taking me somewhere a little nicer.  Here's the deal.  I don't get to go out to eat very often, and I happen to like Fridays (their mudslides are a nice finish to any meal!).  So what may seem like a common place to some, isn't so common for me.  I know they have food that I like, so that is where I requested to go.  I had a lovely steak with a sweet potato side, a caprese salad and a glass of Cabernet.  Not too shabby for this gal!

Afterwards, we did some necessity shopping.  We figured we may as well get it done as long as we were in the city.  Our big purchase was a new gas can (please don't be jealous).  Who knew that an item such as that could make Monkey so happy?

We ended our evening with a stop at a Frozen Yogurt shop.  They had the T.V. on, so we enjoyed our treats and watched the Women's Swimming 4x100 Relay win the gold.  Frozen yogurt and the Olympics?  Who knew that could make me so happy?

On the way home, Monkey kept asking if I had a good time.  I did.  I loved the opportunity to spend this time alone with Monkey.  It isn't about what we do, but more about taking the time to spend with one another.  And when it comes to romance?  Well I'm pretty easy to please.  Sure, I like flowers and I won't turn away a box of chocolates, but it's the other things that mean the most, like Monkey playing with the kids when he gets home from work or cooking for our family on the weekends. Those things are more romantic than the gift of jewelery or a fancy dinner at an expensive restaurant.

With that being said, the most comical part of the evening happened while we were shopping.  Monkey wanted to look at the golfing accessories and I wandered off to the gift section.  I saw a picture frame with the phrase written, "When we kiss it is more than our lips touching, it is a meeting of our souls."  And then I snorted. . . . . . . . . .standing there all by myself. . . . . . . . . .thankful that I wasn't drinking anything. . . . . . . . . .because it most certainly would have come out of my nose or sprayed out of my mouth. . . . . . . . . . and then I heard Cucumber's voice in my head saying, "Give me a break!"

Give Me A Break

I put the little ones to bed last night and then quickly rushed into the Living Room to watch the Olympics.  About 40 minutes into them, I heard the two youngest still chatting (and probably playing), trying to be very quiet.  I walked into their room and told them they needed to go to bed and then I resumed my position in front of the T.V.  Gummi was watching with me and asked, "The little girls were so quiet Mom, how did you hear them?"  I responded, "I have mom ears."  Still looking at me Gummi replied, "Kinda like ducks."  Ummm.  Sure.

Later in the evening, Sweet Potato asked, "Hey mom, can I turn on your defibrillator?" (He really was asking to plug in my essential oil diffuser).

While watching Olympic swimming, Honey Bunches asked why the pool has to be so deep. 
Me:  I think it's because the swimmers dive into the water and they don't want to hit their head on the bottom of the pool.
Sweet Potato:  Yeah, like when I hit my head and it split open five years ago.
Honey Bunches:  Sweet Potato, 5 years ago you fell on your toy box.  Not even close to a pool!


Our niece has offered to watch the kids for us before she heads back to college.  So this morning, Monkey called me from work to ask me out on a date for tomorrow night.  When I hung up the phone I announced to the kids that their cousin would be coming over to watch them.

Cucumber:  Where are you and Dad going?
Me:  Dad's taking me out on a date.
Cucumber:  I thought you already dated.
Me:  Well we did before we got married.  We still need to have some time just for us.
Cucumber:  Oh brother.  Give me a break.

"Boredom" Solutions

Being home all day, everyday, with my six little Love Bugs, you can imagine how many times I hear "Mom!"  There are times I am inundated with the Mom Call as the kids line up in expressing their needs to me.  Valid needs I can handle well, however, when the need is an "I'm bored" declaration, well I'm not so patient.  So to curb this exclamation, I borrowed the idea of a "Boredom Jar" from here.

I recycled an old pickle jar and used construction paper to write down activities for my kids to do.  There is a catch to this (at least in our house); not all the activities are fun - some are actually chores.  Here's the deal.  If you draw from the jar, you have to complete the activity.  It could be read a book, draw a picture, play with sidewalk chalk, or, it could be sweep the floor, clean the bathroom mirror or shake out rugs.  At first, the Boredom Jar was a bit of a novelty within the house.  The kids would gather around the jar and dare one another to draw a slip of paper.  After a few of the kids drew out chores, the others began to think twice about complaining of boredom.  This thing has worked like a charm.

I need to note, that the jar is heavily weighted with more fun ideas than work ones.  In addition, I have to be willing to help the kids out when they draw something that needs supervision (like taking them to the park or mopping the floor).  It has been a great way to encourage playing and working together.

Besides the kids being a little bored this summer, I have also been battling the clutter monster in our home.  Living in a small house with nine people, I can't (and don't) expect perfection, but I do expect everyone to take responsibility for their belongings.  After yelling for the gazillionth time for the kids to pick up their things, I came across this nifty idea from Pinterest.

Uh Oh.  You left it out, Mom picked it up.  She's got your stuff, you're out of luck.  To get it back, must do a chore.  Again it is yours, just like before.

Brilliant!  That is the best way to sum up this idea.  If I have to pick up a toy or some sort of belonging, it gets placed in this tote.  The only way to retrieve it is to select and complete a chore.  Today, the tote is holding a doll stroller, a set of pom poms, two pairs of shoes, a handful of Lego's, a Leapster, and a board game.  Again, I don't expect a completely neat house all of the time, but I am trying to teach the kids that when they are finished with something, please put it away.  Now I do give warnings about their things, but if my warnings are ignored, I don't hesitate to place them in the tote.  Items in the tote also have an expiration date to them.  They may remain in the tote for 7 days, but if they are not saved, they get donated to our local thrift store (which recently was the recipient of two grocery bag fulls from our family).  In the last week, I have had the main bathroom cleaned, the kitchen cupboards wiped down, the furniture vacuumed, and the garbage and recyclables taken out.

I recently had a friend ask, "what kind of militant household are you running?"  Not militant at all.  I am trying to teach my kids that we are a family.  And in this family, we work together to make our house a home.  In doing so, we need to love one another, be respectful of one another, and abide by rules to help accomplish these things.  I also believe that my kids have too much stuff.  They will argue this point with me, but if they really want the things they have, then they should be willing to care for them.  As is evidence of the recently donated items, some things just don't mean that much.

A little side note - The Boredom Jar and the Chore Tote will not win you any popularity points, nor gain you any friendships between you and your children.  I have been huffed at, "Hmph"ed at, and have had tantrums thrown at my feet.  Now that these two items have become regular household fixtures, those reaction have greatly diminished.  There will always be, however, a little disgust when the discovery is made that a chore will have to be done.  In my book it's a win win.  They get to keep their things and I get help with housekeeping.